


A Reminder

by lemonsorbae



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 11:40:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonsorbae/pseuds/lemonsorbae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I guess sometimes I just need to be reminded why I’m still out there doing this shit." Dean sighed. Cas’s eyes flicked up to Dean’s at that moment and he raised his hands to the ever crooked blue tie around his neck and began loosening it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Reminder

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [this](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/15645) by endingsarehard. 



> *May contain spoilers from season 5 and beyond  
> Ever since Dean dropped his amulet in the trash in season 5, I’ve been stuck on this head canon that Cas dug it out afterwards and has been keeping it safe for Dean, waiting until the time is right to return it to him. This one shot was the result of my crazy head canon.  
> Also, its 4:30 am, this is un-betaed and IDGAF.

The entire week had been pretty freaking crappy, even for a Winchester. Books and journals were stacked in piles around the dingy motel room, signs of numerous dead ends in their current hunt and Dean sat slumped over Sam’s laptop looking at page 372 of the Google search he was issuing. He was in desperate need of a drink or pie or porn or anything that would give his brain a rest from things that went bump in the night but the thought of walking away now just didn’t feel justifiable. Dean sighed and clicked on the next link on the page.

Off to the side a sharp fluttering of wings and the sound of wind signaled Castiel’s arrival but Dean didn’t even look up. “Hey, Cas.” he muttered, eyes glued to the screen in front of him, scanning for something that would give him some kind of purchase for his and Sam’s hunt. 

“Hello, Dean.” the angel replied. He stood stock still next to the table Dean was seated at and studied the hunter without reservation. Dean could feel Cas’s eyes boring into the side of his face and he finally looked up at the other man, grateful for the break from the bright light of the laptop.

“You look tired, Dean.” Cas pointed out as if Dean was unaware of his own current state of being. Dean ran a hand over his face and leaned back in his chair, his back groaning in protest from having been kept in the same poor position for too long. 

“I am tired, Cas.” he admitted. 

“Perhaps you should sleep.” Castiel offered. It seemed quite cut and dry to him. 

Dean shook his head. “Not that kind of tired, Cas.” he stated. “I’m just,” he paused for a minute trying to gather his thoughts. “I’m tired of the job, you know? We’ve been researching all week and we’ve got nothing. Being cooped up like this with not a lot of action is making me think too much. I sit here flipping through pages and pages of nonsense and start thinking ‘what the hell am I doing? Why am I busting my ass for such a thankless job’?” he expressed. “I could be doing so much more with my life, you know? And Sammy? I just get sick inside every time I think he’s not at Stanford because of me. Because I asked him to be here. He threw his career away to drive around the country with my ass and help people who don’t even care.” Dean let out a big sigh and looked up at Cas. The angel’s eyebrows were drawn together, his eyes glued to the floor as if he’d find the solution to all of Dean’s problems somewhere down there. Dean shook his head. 

“I guess sometimes I just need to be reminded why I’m still out there doing this shit.” Cas’s eyes flicked up to Dean’s at that moment and he raised his hands to the ever crooked blue tie around his neck and began loosening it. Dean watched as Cas’s long slender fingers undid the first few buttons of his white button down and drew a cord from somewhere beneath his shirt. Castiel pulled the cord over his head and held it in his fist in front of Dean. Dean looked down at the amulet dangling from the cord and immediately recognized it as the one Sam had given him so many years ago. 

“Where did you get this?” Dean asked, taking the necklace from the angel and staring at it in his palm. The last time he’d seen the amulet, he was dropping it into the trashcan by the door of their motel room in a city he didn’t even remember the name of. 

“I pulled it out of the trashcan after you left.” Castiel admitted. “I assure you its sanitary.” he mused and Dean nodded thoughtlessly looking up at the angel.

“You’ve had it this whole time?” he questioned and Cas nodded. “Why?”

“I was wrong when I told you it was worthless, Dean.” Cas began to explain. “I was upset with my Father and discouraged. I should not have said what I did. It meant something to you and so it will always be important. I’ve been keeping it safe until the time was right to return it to you.” 

Dean’s thoughts were racing. It was a small, insignificant talisman. Probably worthless just like Cas had said. But Sam had given it to him in a gesture of trust and love and that in and of itself gave the necklace more worth than anyone besides Dean could ever understand. Staring at the amulet, Dean remembered all the times he and Sam had had each other’s backs in a hunt, all the times, though they were few, people had offered warm, shaky smiles to the brothers after being saved from one thing or another. He remembered the night Sam actually gave him the necklace. It had originally been for John, their father and Dean’s hero. But Sam had given it to him instead because Dean was his hero; Dean had been the one to take care of Sam and protect him. In his moment of reverie, a wave of purpose washed over Dean and he suddenly remembered why he fought so hard even when he knew he’d get so little in return. 

Dean looked up at Cas who was watching Dean precariously, waiting for some kind of response. “Thanks, Cas.” the hunter said slipping the cord over his head, immediately grateful for the familiar weight of the amulet against his chest.

“You’re welcome, Dean.”

—

It’s not as if things immediately got better with the amulet back. In fact they got worse for a couple days before there was any kind of light at the end of the tunnel. But Dean was able to soldier on through the mess and tired nights because he remembered why it was necessary and he knew he wasn’t alone in the process. With Sam at his side and an angel watching out for him, Dean felt like he could carry on for at least a little while longer.


End file.
